i'm finally back in my home sweet home ler.. i'm tired.. i'm sad.. i'm depressed.. well.. mostly due to the sending off of my ah ma.. n partially becuz of stayin up late n not able to sleep well these few mights den all my pimples n eye bags n dark eye circle comin out.. omg.. my sweet n innocent face is bein ruined by it.. spoilt my image man.. think i gotta rest more these few daes.. aniwae will be still on leave till 26 feb (last dae of work) =x gonna hab no income soon.. -.-
these 3 nights hab been stayin in my aunt's hse n spent 2 nights slpin on my ah ma's bed.. found tt her bed is so...... like rock.. v hard.. i slept till my back aches.. wonder hw my ah ma manage to sleep well all this time.. 2nd night stay wasnt realli great.. had a splitting headache tt night while my jiejie n pamie cuzzie were slpin by my side.. having a headache in aunt's hse was quite a handful.. cuz no pandols at my aunt's hse.. so i was almost like tossing n turning around in pain.. pressing my head with my hands n finally.. knocking my head in the pillow.. duhh.. din help at all.. onli at ard morn 4am+ den did it subsided abit.. den was able to catch some sleep.. poor me.. but tt was not the end.. after my headache den came my "auntie" .. sia la.. din realise it until i went toilet.. den whole night here pain dere pain.. tts well couldn't slp well..
3rd night worse.. can sae i din slp at all.. hais.. played mahhjong with cuzzies n my jie n mum.. to kip ourselves awake.. cuz nid to prevent the cats from entering the wake ma.. den the best thing is i was too tired to go on the game ler.. my cuzzie on the other hand was so enthu abt it.. kept askin us to plae till 5 in the morn.. and we did.. my cuzzie realli best liao lo.. at 5am he went to slp ler.. makin me n my jie jie couldn't catch ani sleep at all.. cuz if we did sleep.. there will be no one lookin out fer the cats ler.. my cuzzie realli.. abit not gentleman sia.. cuz of this huh.. eye bag come out le! hmph! image spoilt le la!!!! =x (haas)
morning 6+ me n jiejie went up to aunt's hse to wash up n down again fer quick st den chantings fer my ah ma again.. gee.. i broke my own record again.. i told myself to hang on fer these 3 daes.. dun cry too much but todae.. hais.. cried again.. wore onli socks n sent the van with my ah ma inside to the road den went onto bus.. was cryin since the monk asked us to took a last look at my ah ma.. on the bus.. i sat by 9th aunt's side.. haiss.. cuz my cuzzies all hab partners le ma.. den u know.. on the long journey.. one wud tends to think more de ma.. so i tot of my ah ma all the time i was on bus.. kept cryin till i slept off.. i din know i slept off.. hais.. den after i woke up awhile later.. we reached.. the place where we were abt to incinerate ah ma's body.. the place was high tech n looks abit holy(to me)they even hab viewing hall fer us to view our ah ma bein pushed into the incinerator.. cried again..
around 11+, we were sent back to aunt's hse again.. we hab to wait fer the ashes of our ah ma to get ready.. so that we could collect em and head to jurong where my grandpa's ashes were placed n placed the two of em together.. when we were collecting ah ma's bones.. i suddenly found tt.. my ah ma's bones r so little.. from such a huge body.. it became a small pile of bones.. i couldnt realli believe it..aniwae after placing my ah ma together with my grandpa.. we again headed back to aunt hse fer our own stuff n went home.. wasn't able to hold back my sleepiness so slept in the taxi.. from ah ma's death.. i realise tt death could befall on anione suddenly.. i cud juz hab anione dear to me leaving me suddenly.. think i better cherish everyone around me now.. before its too late.. i dun wanna end up with regrets again.. =/
finally could take my ah ma's death in stride better le.. i am slowly accepting the fate.. dun worry guys.. i will try my best to pass my daes happily de.. wun alwaes stay depressed =) will be living my life to my fullest with lots of happiness! (fer my dearest grandma n grandpa)
may my ah ma rest peacefully n happily in her new hse with my grandpa.. ah ma n grandpa.. watch over us in heaven.. ilu.. =)
o ya huh.. btw todae 22nd feb le right? todae kailing's bdae lehh.. can wish her happie bdae ma? cuz weiting sae like 1 yr cant celebrate anithing.. not even wishing ppl happie bdae n celebrating it with em.. is this true? emmm.. if u all know abt it den tag me n tell me?
think i goin off ler.. i'm v tired.. gotto rest.. =/
will be bloggin again soon de =)
if onli u felt the same wae://*pingsx
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Rainbowlin