dun TALK ABOUT THE PACTS ANYMORE!!
so wad if u rmb the 18yr old fortune-teller pact?
u trying to keep ur word? ur promise??
when u alrdy broke others??
I DUNO!
yes. i do feel like looking for a fortune teller but myb not with u ANYMORE..
i dun wish u to know wad would happen in my life. how is my relationship stuff!
yes! all! its too personal to let u know based on our type of relationship now.
JUZ SHUD UP!

apple loves
2:01:00 AM

HELLO! i juz dun feel like hearing anything about the past from u!
wad crap u trying to do?
"see i told u le.. im lousy at jio-ing girls"
F***..
by saying that u urself is reminding me of the promises u broke and all the contradictions!
u said u wun jio another girl until u are sure of it that she is the one for u.
hello! how much do u know my marianne? do u know wad she is thinking??
u sure she is the one u gonna settled down with? is she even willing first anot??
and now u telling me shud have wait awhile more.. HELLO... nvm
u promised that u'd nv get into relationship within 2 yrs.
if u ever forgt the stupid pact.
i still can rmb hw confident u were telling me about it saying..
"mdm, keeping promises are easy.."
i juz F***feel like replying you.."i dun wish to hear u talking about the past again"
so is that wad u call forgetting everything and start anew as friends?
cant u see that im still v MEANN to u??
dun come and fan me can a not??
DUN TOK TO ME ABOUT THE PAST ANYMORE!!!!!
juz shud up..
leave me alone will ya?

apple loves
1:29:00 AM

arghhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i juz feel like shouting out loud. =/
2 days ago i went chalet leh! hoho.
ahYong's chalet! =p
ya.. so wad if u nv tell me! i still gt dajie. =)
thankfully dajie told me about it..
cuz i saw my ahOng!!!! =D
ya.. i made it my main motive to go there.
other than ahOng its not for anyone else.
but of cuz my dajie! cuz she wann see me~ :D

aniwae. i stayed for the night cuz caryn asked me to? =p
no la.. cuz i oso missed my last bus home..
den dun wan take taxi.. thats y lo. haha.
hmm.. i dunno whether to sae its good or bad that i stayed anot lo.

he gt drunk tt night. simply in pathetic state. to me.
but to others he looks cute lo. rw sae de. haha.
he did so so so so much happening stuff la.
cuz he gt too high. high till the extent he went to disturb ah neh!
2 ah neh! then the auntie in cheers. siao de.
he peng quite a few times lo. then gt one time is he peng on caryn's shoulders.
hmm.. i duno wad to sae leh.. myb he realli does like caryn bah..
he refered caryn as the one he loves.. so myb?
i duno.
i juz know i feel v v v uneasy with him around and all his actions.
i juz cant bring myself to be normal in front of him lo.
i juz cant help it but thinking of him thinking me v negatively..
"miss, i v scared of ur mummy.. i wonder wad she'd tell caryn again.."
mrOH.. i realli feel like slapping u up-down-left-right.
im not those who use underhand means to seperate ppl. and i seriously dun do that.
no matter hw many times im hurt.. i believe that you-qin-ren-zong-cheng-juan-shu.
in the end, lovers would be together forever more de. this is smth sweet.
even though it isnt of my own's.. i will still feel sweet for others.
serious. and this is the reason y i desire to be in love. =/
but i guess the more i desire the more i wun get it ba..

OK! final conclusion is I AM STILL SO AFFECTED BY HIM LAR!!!
i guess the time to get over him yet hasnt reach..
perhaps i should give myself more time and not rush to get over it. haa.
WADEVA~
*imnotgonnathinkofhimlerrr!!! x100!!!*
lol. wad? im trying to influence myself! haha. ya.. i shud juz move all the emotions to think and care more for my marianne. she needs it more than he do.
:)
dear god. pls bless that she'd be free from the clutches of the evil. let her live a healthy life!! pls~
in the god of jesus name i pray. amen. =x

im not christian la.. but i juz pray to him.. i go pray everywhere de.
thinking back i did pray for him b4 lo. i prayed for his safety and well-being and trouble-free from all the london thing. if god let this come true.. im willing to suffer emotionally.. omg. lol. so i think it did came true afterall? =x
he din lie ar.. indeed he isnt in any trouble now some way or other and indeed im suffering now..
so i guess i cant blame anyone! haha. cuz its i asked for it.
karkar.. (shit in french)
machiam dunno lar.. hmph.
i managed to help my marianne to push him off till after exams..
i guess.. tts all i'd do..
whether u 2 are able to be together.. depends on fate bah..
of cuz.. i'd help my marianne de.. depends on situation ba.. i'd remind to take ur vitamins on time de!! =))

he came to talk to me when i was on the verge to off my com.
asked me to tell him about his happenings when he was drunk..
wad rubbish.. he was so happening for the whole night.
how to tell him everything with only one hour. -.-
actually i was very scared of him when he was drunk.
i seriously was afraid he ask me about that asshole thing again. lol.
so i hid as much as i could away from him.
he did happening stuff by my right hand side.. i'd turn my head to left hand side..
juz dun wann see him at all.
dun wan to know wad happened.
but i know all. lol.
inclusive the most... ashamed thing.. =.=
i juz cant bring myself to say it..
i think i'll juz skip wad he did exactly during the whole happening night bah.

hmm.. kinda pissed off with rw today.. commented on my ppt again and again!
hello!!!! i spend one night on it and i sacrifice my sleep for it!!!
can at least like sae.. smth good about it!!??? >.<
juz din wanted to quarrel with her.. then juz.. look at her.. then...
i said.... "orh" then went back to my slides again! lol.
weirdo me =x
but i guess she knows lo..

arghh.. my cake taste so bad. puke* err.. not i make de lar.. jiejie buy de.. pui*
tml comm skills test la.. i think i better stop here le. its a damn long entry!! :)

apple loves
8:17:00 PM

2 days ago!
i said sry to him for all the miscommunications.
although i still think some parts im not in the wrong..
but i'll juz take up all the wrong hao le..
afterall i started the first mistake.. tts to fall for him..
he replied he was on fault too
but he'd remember the cute little mdm.. =.=
i cried again!
i hate myself
i hate myself
i juz hate myself lar! ):
was sad not realli becuz of the happening.
but becuz he told me he going back to london for jail for 6-9yrs.
asshole. bastard.
u made me cry again! >.<

aniwae dun wry guys.
he din go back for tt at all. well..
at least.. he din suffer smth he shudnt?

YTD!! i chatted with daniu ge for 2 long hours!
haha. he's cool and good.
aprreciate his advices and analyses. :)
made me had a good laugh with his craps.
at least it lighten my burden in my heart

but after that then i came online..
he was there talking to me..
asking me whether i still bear a grudge against him..
becuz i hardly reply him.. haa..
i mean like.. seriously lo.. even how hard we try to be friends again.. you know best that there would be a scar in the heart..
but he expect us to be like in the past again.. and talk to him freely..
so how do u expect me to talk to him juz after like..
it happened within 2-3days?
i seriously nid time to get over it..
and im realli realli sry.. u cant help me at all..
im emotionally hurt not physically hurt..
u cant help at all..
and one last thing..
i seriously dun wann u to enter my world again
and hurt me once more..
i cant promise u tt we can be like the past..
cuz i dunno wads going o happen in the future.
and of cuz.. there is a emotional barrier within me now..
to believe or not to believe u..?
to be wary of u or juz reveal everything to u..?

today.
i went out with my lesbie to watch pan's labyrinth.
aw..
wasnt realli up to my expectations lo..
kinda sian..
but i enjoyed lesbie's comapny.
thanks for being there for me :)
saw ur cutie one~
haha.
tell ur cutie dun wry! i wun snatch u away from her! :p
ya.. i rmb smth! i was freezing until i trembled in the cinema la.. =.=
hao la hao la..
think myb tml go dye hair~ :D
haha. its my practice to do smth to my hair whenever im hurt mar~ :P

okie.. additional stuff to kill myself thoroughly.
lol.
they went for ah yong's chalet but din ask me along. :)
caryn went for today's one.
so i guess~ =)
his target is realli caryn now. :)
nvm. i'll wait for my right one.
i mean WAIT! not going for it animore~
okie.

im tired!!!!!!!!
i go slp le lar! night nights! :p

apple loves
12:51:00 AM

i'll tear no more
not for yoo..
i've cried enough for yoo ytd night
my eyes became so swollen today.
my eyes hurt.
my heart aches.
ive no mood to attend lectures
no appetite to eat.
feeling so muchh like a walking corpse.
injuries u gave to me juz with ur lies.

rottenapple. ):

apple loves
9:03:00 PM

yoo are such a bastard man.
i guess u'd nv guess that i'll change my blog name.
i dunn wann u to ever find out about this blog and read my stuff from here.
this blog name is now and ever to remind me nv to be naive again.
nv believe that miracles happen every now n then..
i hate the thought of knowing more n more evidences each day..
for all evidences juz prove that yoo are all n all but juz a big fat liar
im reaching the state where i dun even wish to be ur friend and i dun wanna contact u
and..
not even to take a glance at yoo anymore..
yes..
tts how disappointed i am.
of all the 8 guys i liked.. inclusive of u..
i gt to sae.. i've to salute to u.
u top them all..
the most bastard bastard
love yoo??
my foot!
i'll love u no more.
wei jun zi..

apple loves
7:28:00 PM

like wad my blogskin says.. why did i let myself believe that miracles could happen?
ya.. y? all that belief only brought me more hurt and pain.
though there was this phrase "no pain no gain"
you've to pain in order to gain
then wad do u have to do in order to pain?
u've to pain to pain.. haa..
so no logic de logic.
learnt it from ruowen today.
totally disappointed with him.
so i was too naive all along.
so naive to believe tt he likes only me..
so naive to believe that he dun likes lesbie dun likes marianne.
but i guess he nv knew tt i would ever take this topic up to chat with them about it.
he said that the feeling i gave him was definitely not of a sister.
yet he told marianne that he only treated me as sister.
contradictions after contradictions.
give me another reason to believe u again.
u wrecked my heart.
totally.

numbed. after so many heartwrecks. will it ever heal again?
dunno. i wun believe u again.
i shall naive no more.

apple; naive?? __no more

apple loves
11:08:00 PM

alright. im finally here to blog again. =x

sry guys. juz doesnt feel like blogging all the while.
yepp. i removed the password thingy.
hmm.. all the while alot of things happened.
i dunno where to start.
dunno how to start either.
so lets juz forget abt it.
lol.
we shall start from the very recent days of my life.

haa. wad abt TP's open house? =p
i was v v involved in the activities okie?
haha.
on..
thurs- i was the course councilor for TLC (tourism leisure and culinary)
friday- i was in the TLC Lt 21 skitplay (acting as Mrs Tua towkay)
sat- i was the b-guides!! n oso involved in the skit again! haha.

it was fun okie!
i made so much more new friends. so pretty and nice and sweet de ppl.
mainly from htm de lo. =x
there is this super super sweet de girl lo! i think la.. her name is perlin! so nice girl!
aww..
then there were the evelyn, derrick, nicole chua, jeslyn and so many more~
then on fri..
i made ppl laugh for my skit okie!?
im successful de! haha!
saw my cca juniors watching my skit..
do they even recognize me?
=x
yeeping tt grp rox! yeeping is so pretty looking. left a deep impression on me lo. haha.
on sat..
saw this guy tt i always see him with mark. dunno his name at all lo.
he bucked up with wesley n bullied me! argh!
lol. in the end i found out his name was Daniel.
the president of BSC.. omg..
you yan bu shi tai shan =x
the way i found out abt his name was also very funny. haha.
aniwae. i gave him a nick name. "Da Niu Ge"
haha. funny guy. :)

Tp open house is good.
i made so many friends from it.
love it man!
JM came to watch my last slot of skit.
hehe.
he gave me a little torch clip. so cute lar. =p

today im a very bad girl.
i ps-ed JM once again.
cuz i realised i onl had $30 to survive for the next 6 days! omg..
4th time i flew him kite..
other than tt.. i prank sms-ed da niu ge!
=x
but he knew who i am lo.. so not fun de.. hais!
o ya.. and i forgt to call up my maria as i promised.

badapple.
think i'll stop here.
gotta study a little of marketing b4 sleep.
if not im realli a thoroughly rotten apple!
nites! =)

apple loves
1:02:00 AM