i juz cant seems to make myself feel better by any ways..
im juz feeling so down.
i juz cant understand..
wasnt ytd a very happy n fun day?
i could still rmb me witnessing the sprout of the on-comin romance for my partner tony..
me pulling him to get the no. from his dream girl..
me irritating all the new guys there..
me crapping around with everyone..
me dancing the so-called sexy dance with dajie.
n me "molesting" my caryn hubbie..
and us jumping around irritating jimmy..
drinking our drinks at the back of the seats..
dancing like siao zhar bors over there.
and us complaining about the same stuff..
WASNT IT A PERFECT WONDERFUL HAPPY DAY??
WHY EVERYTHING BECAME LIKE THAT???

i juz cant stop wondering..
in which way do i pose as a love rival or any danger to the relationship btwn the 2 of u?
in which way do i look like a lesbian!?
in which way am i invading other people's privacy?
im exhausted. its always like that..

my happiness dun last.
following a short flow of happiness there would be a long flow of sadness.
how many times more do i have to drop my tears?
cry my heart out? feel the tearing in my heart? before i could realli be happie?

sometimes i feel like being a devil..
so that i could dare the gods.. and dare the fate..
wad in the world did i do to deserve all these things?
how many times do you want to see me hurt over all these kind of things?
y should i still continue be a good person when i am reciving this kind of treatments?
y break my glass of hopes n desire to be happie?
all i want is juz very simple. i juz wann to be happie with my friends. with my mr right.
u took my hope of mr right away from me!
n now u trying to take away my hope of being happie just with my friends?
WAD ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?
Y CANT I DESERVE TO BE HAPPY?
I HATE THIS CRUEL WORLD
I HATE THIS FATE GAME
I DUN WANNA BE A GOOD PERSON ANYMORE!
I WANN LISTEN NO MORE!

there isnt anything i GOT from all n all being a GOOD PERSON
u've even took the least thing tt i could do..
CRY..
WAD DO YOO WANN ME TO BECOME?
A MONSTER?

i juz feel like disappearing from this world at this moment.
but NO. i wont let u win the game!
I'll NEVER ADMIT DEFEAT.

apple loves
10:14:00 PM